"My mother-in-law
has ruined our married life."
"My husband
always listens to my mother-in-law; it appears that I have no place in taking
any important decisions in my own life."
These are some of the
common issues that daughters-in-law face and come to us for solutions.
Sometimes, even their husbands agree and unwillingly complain about their
mothers' dominating behaviour which seemed to change substantially after their
marriage. This is a troubling situation for most newly-married couples. The new
member of the family, the daughter-in-law, is unable to gather enough courage
to voice her opposition against the hardships her mother-in-law creates. On the
other hand, her husband is embarrassed to speak against his own mother in front
of his new wife and other family members.
As a result, they both
silently continue bearing it all, and soon matters turn explosive, which leads
to their married life disputes. These adverse effects will continue to grow,
and sometimes things even reach the point of divorce due to the excessive meddling of the in-laws. In countries like
ours, where the joint family system exists, new couples usually undergo much
pain and agony, when otherwise they would have had a smooth life without the
interference. Most marriage counsellors agree that such issues need to be
discussed and dealt with care in time.
Mothers of Son Creating Married
Life Problems
But why do mothers cause
such obstructions in their own child's life? The truth is, most moms believe
that their right on their son should be more than his new wife. After all, she
gave birth to him, brought him up, and therefore, has a better understanding of
his needs. She is sure that she can guide her child better, even after
marriage. Moreover, some mothers have a dominating nature and force their
children to live their life in a manner they decide. As a result, their son is
also unable to speak up against them. In the end, the poor wife has to bear all
the brunt, even if he does say something.
But a mother loves her
children and sacrifices everything for them, then why would she create problems
for them? The thing is that she is a mom and has a very decisive place in her
child's life until they are old enough. However, once they are married, their
spouse begins to take over many responsibilities, and the mother starts feeling
displaced. This is especially true for the mothers of sons. Another source of
contention between mothers and daughters-in-law is the fact that the latter is
a new member of the family and doesn't understand their customs. This can lead
to disputes between them as the daughter-in-law acts according to things that
she knows, while the mother-in-law expects her to behave in a way she wants. In
such a situation, the mother needs to convey the traditions of the family
politely, that doesn't hurt the feelings of the daughter-in-law. In turn, the
new wife should also be ready to learn new things from their mother-in-law.
Mothers of Daughters Creating Married Life Disputes
The exact opposite is
true, as well. As the mothers of sons create troubles for their
daughters-in-law, similarly, the mothers of daughters, too, try to intervene in
their lives. This can lead to the reverse of the previous situation. Due to
their own mom's interference, the new daughter-in-law does not wish to accept
their mother-in-law and give them the place and respect of a mother. On the
other hand, the mother-in-law is actually very accepting of her son's new wife.
Now the conflicts occur from the wife's side as she tries to exert her rights
over her husband and take her mother-in-law's place. A feeling of competition
rises within the new wife. In such a situation, the woman needs to understand
her responsibilities. She needs to try to adjust in the new home while trying
to bring everyone together.
Solution To Problems In Married
Life Of Natives
All these things need to
be discussed, and mothers too need to know their limits. They should allow
their children the freedom to act on their own and muddle through their
newly-married lives themselves. Though they should guide their child when
required, let them understand the world by themselves. One solution to this can
be giving their children some space to begin their lives on their own. Mothers
of sons should tactfully explain the traditions of their new home and allow
them to learn things on their own. For example, if the new daughter is not
adept in household chores, she should be given the time to learn them, and not
ill-treated.
Mothers can be naturally
possessive of their children. As a woman, the wife can also understand their
mother-in-law's feelings if she tries to stand in her shoes. This will help her
in understanding and handling the situation prudently. However, if things get
serious, boundaries need to be set. Do not let matters reach a point of making
the husband choose between his wife and mother.
Another thing that creates
problems between new wives and in-laws is a matter of respect. The parents of
the son wish to receive the same reverence from their daughter-in-law, which is
not wrong either. The daughter-in-law should accept them as her own parents as
well. Karma plays a vital role in all our lives. Newlywed women should remember
that if they condemn their in-laws, they will soon lose respect in their own
homes also. It is possible that their brother's wife may start disliking their
presence in their home. This is their karma. They should let fate decide the
punishment for any ill-deeds of their in-laws and simply continue to complete
their responsibilities devotedly.
Know About Troubles From In-Laws
Through Kundali
All this is true, but can we know
beforehand if there can be some troubles with our in-laws? Of course! As we
have said repeatedly, astrology has the answer to all problems. One's birth chart
and kundali matching can determine how one's relationship with their in-laws
will be. The seventh house in one's natal chart signifies their spouse,
and the fourth house from the seventh house, i.e., their tenth house defines
their mother-in-law. The planets positioned in this house indicate the nature
of the mother of your spouse. Similarly, one can discover the temperament of
their father-in-law through their fourth house, while the ninth house can
determine the disposition of one's brother-in-law and sister-in-law.
Source: https://sites.google.com/view/vinaybajrangis/blog/cause-of-married-life-problems
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